Writing has become a bit of a muddle. I am keeping a daily journal offline, where I indulge my every thought and feeling, expressing everything freely. The offline writing is the raw material from which I will caste the bricks and mortar of my new construction of reality. Change is happening. I am hoping for a slow, solidly crafted change. Returning to writing here in this online is something I want to do, and I think I need to do for my own sake.
So here I am, one week after the terrible, terrible mistake. I am sitting in my easy chair, Attila sits across from me on the sofa, creating a Christmas music youtube playlist on his iPad. The Christmas tree is brightly lit and smelling wonderful beside me on my left. The iMac is playing a google music playlist of 60s Christmas music. I have begun to crochet my second afghan/blanket, to be the same size, yarn, and stitch as the one I just finished. The atmosphere is relaxed this evening.
The weekend has consisted of these relaxed interludes, punctuated by short, direct, and intense interchanges dealing with the issues surrounding the terrible, terrible mistake. There are no raised voices, there is no shouting, no hostility. There is a lot of intense emotion on both sides, I would be very concerned if there were not.
And so we are carrying on, and will do for as long as it takes.
Last night we went to see a Santa Clause parade. It was fun to see the kids getting so excited about the floats, and about the candy that the “Elves” were handing out from each float. It lasted less than an hour. It was good to be out of doors, as the weather was perfect for it, dry, no snow or ice, and not too terribly cold.
Earlier this afternoon there came a knock on the door. When we answered the door, there was the whole family from across the street, father, mother and two children, delivering two lovely cupcakes on a plate for us, with a Christmas card. What a wonderful thing to do with your children!
Worldly Distractions
Weather
1°C
Date: 7:00 PM EST Sunday 3 December 2017
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 102.4 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: 1.3°C
Dew point: 0.4°C
Humidity: 94%
Wind: ENE 5 km/h
Visibility: 16 km
“She had an unequalled gift… of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.”
Henry James
1843 – 1916
Something to aim for…
What a sweet thing for your neighbors to do! Hope over time your peaceful moments are more numerous than the intense ones.
Intense is hard, but it’s better than most of the alternatives. You’re working on it. That’s what matters.
What a delight to have neighborly kindness during an otherwise challenging time. It’s the little things that make it all bearable.
When DH and I were having harder times due to the interference of his ex, we muddled between pleasant times and intense times where we had to come to terms with our lives being periodically turned upside down and how to deal with the problem. It wasn’t easy but we kept talking, worked through our feelings, and eventually we out lasted the problem.
It’s good that you’re getting out and enjoying some of the perks of the season. Over here, we have a Christmas market next weekend. We’ve never been and hope to go enjoy the many handmade gifts and sample some of the unusual foods.
How sweet that your neighbors brought you some treats! Yes, a wonderful act of giving to share with their kids.
Eileen, thank you for the good wishes! (( ))
It is very nice to have such considerate neighbours, and see such caring parents.
Wendy, you are so right, intense is hard, and so very much better than the alternative… with the intensity come hope and optimism, at least for me, right now. I think Attila feels the same way about the intensity, although he is far more averse to it than I am.
The little things do mean a lot, and those little cupcakes carefully created and decorated, with such goodwill, were a wonderful surprise from out of nowhere!
Teri, I remember your blog as you were working through that difficult sitation, it sounded very challenging, and I am very glad for you and DH that you are out the other side of it now.
It was nice to get out to see the parade, it was a nice evening, and the people on the crowded sidewalks were all happy and smiling, a nice energy to be around.
The neighbours only have the kids part of the time, it is the father’s second marriage and custody is joint. When they have the kids they make a big effort to be involved with them, which is really nice to see.
It’s as if your angels ordered up that family and that card and those cupcakes to be delivered to you as a way of saying “we love you and hope you can use this neighborly love to make it through your bad patch of late” – those angels are sly creatures… they seem to know just when we need them the most. Happy holiday season to you both! xox
Bex, Happy Holiday season to you and Paul and Belle!
The personally delivered card and cupcakes were just what we needed! I agree, those angels are sly creatures, lurking everywhere, ready to spread kindness and good will in the most unexpected places, times, and ways.
I think Mr. Rogers expressed it well, in scary times “look for helpers”, who might not even know that they are helping.
““When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LGHtc_D328