This morning a representative from a window and door company came to do an estimate on the windows in the house. The estimate will be sent to me via email. The windows at Mist Cottage are more than 60 years old, single pane glass, and appallingly cold and difficult to maintain, I can’t even open the front bedroom window, it is so difficult to manage. The living room windows do not open at all. There is a government grant program that will help with the cost of installing new windows, and I am interested in getting this done if we can swing the expense of it. The installation would take place in April. Attila was strongly against looking into it, he balks at almost everything at first, it takes a lot of energy on my part to ride through his reactions to new ideas. Just one of his idiosyncrasies. I went ahead, despite his serious misgivings about the affordability of the project. It is in my best interest to ensure that Mist Cottage is upgraded sooner rather than later, at the least expense, with the least disruption, as a future residence for myself, and possibly Attila, or as a future investment in case I want it sold.
There is also a grant for insulation, so next week I will be getting estimates for that as well.
Attila’s project is to put a new roof on the garage, and to transform it into a workshop and art studio. I will be ensuring that the funds are available for the upgrade when he needs them, and that I do what I can to facilitate the work. The leaking garage is a crucial fix for this property, for living here long term, or for selling it in the shorter term. Either way, the garage needs fixing, and Attila wants to do it, he has a plan, and it seems to be a very good plan.
Tomorrow I go in for my x-ray. I am unclear as to why an x-ray was scheduled, rather than an ultrasound, but I will explore this when I go in to the walk-in clinic to discuss the results of the x-ray. I have the parking figured out for the CT scan later in February, and have my fingers crossed that it is relatively stress free. I must switch vehicles with Attila for the CT scan appointment, the underground parking lot has ceilings that are too low for Tank. Parking in urban areas is the most difficult aspect of these medical appointments.
Today passed peacefully enough, but as evening approached my emotions began to run away with me, this is still happening fairly regularly, but less frequently. Tears are a welcome release, I don’t try to avoid them when they come. I only let the crying last so long though, then I distract myself with a movie, or researching something interesting on the internet, or anything that gives me a little relief. Tonight I made muffins, and watched a movie on Netflix, it seems to have done the trick. I am sleeping a bit better now, around five hours every night, an improvement. Tomorrow is another day.
Worldly Distractions
Weather
-22°C
Date: 7:00 AM EST Wednesday 31 January 2018
Condition: Partly Cloudy
Pressure: 102.5 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: -22.0°C
Dew point: -24.7°C
Humidity: 79%
Wind: ENE 4 km/h
Wind Chill: -26
Visibility: 24 km
Quote
“Truth is the only safe ground to stand on.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
1815 – 1902
Good for you for going ahead with the needed upgrades to Mist Cottage. After all, it sounds as if these are projects which don’t require Attila’s participation and it’s your job to figure out how to pay for them and for the garage project. As long as you do all the dealing with the windows and insulation and have the garage funds available, he can just jolly well cope. (Yes, I’m becoming annoyed with him, even if it isn’t my business to do so.)
Wendy, it is a bit of peevishness on my part, mentioning this idiosyncrasy of Attila’s, because it is something I’ve dealt with for 25 years with great patience and understanding. I have my own ideiosyncrasies, which had been tolerated up until December 30, 2017, when the agreement of tolerance was suddenly breached. I am flexing my long unused muscles to make decisions without accommodating Attila’s ideosyncrasy, because, as you point out, there is no need for him to participate in the renovation projects that I am working on getting done. The grant programs are once in a lifetime opportunities to get good quality renovations done, at a cost that “we” can afford, and I am not willing to let that opportunity pass. This idiosyncrasy of Attila’s will no longer dampen my enthusiasms. Of course, if a project involves Attila’s labour or time or significant funds, then that is a completely different matter.
Maggie, I realized that there was projection on my part. I could hear myself saying, “Just because I’m gathering information, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to do anything about it, but until I have more information, I can’t even think about it properly.” That is sometimes later followed with, “It’s my job to figure out how to pay for it, I’m the one dealing with it, and it doesn’t really involve you, so why is there a problem?”
That’s the long version. We’ve been married for 26 years now and have worked together for almost 35 years, so now the first part is generally reduced to “not necessarily,” and the second part to, “I’m dealing with it.” You’re not alone with this particular challenge. 🙂
It sounds like good plans to go forward with. I’m glad you’re getting a bit more sleep.
Wendy, those lines of logic sound so very familiar! I see you know of what you speak! And of what I speak! 🙂
Thanks Joan! Planning gives me something constructive to do. Sleep has settled into a pattern that will get me through. Occasionally I drop off to sleep while sitting at the keyboard, on quiet days, which helps.