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November 25, 1999

Garden of Earthly Delight

The smaller details of life preoccupy me of late. A neighbor and friend has opened up his own web design business. Last night he arrived at the door with a flyer for a web site he has developed for Neighborhood Watch. The site lists current crimes in The Neighborhood and provides an online bulletin board for staying in touch with the news.

Just last weeks, on our street two cars were stolen and others vandalized. Since one of the cars was found without a motor it seems likely that professionals were responsible for the job. "The City" where we live has a very high rate of crimes involving damage or theft of personal property. I console myself by thinking it is better than having high rates of assault, murder, rape or homelessness.

I am listening to a CD I procured from the local library. This CD is a shock; it presents the works of two artists, one a former lover and one a man who was such a temptation. I had a few wild, single years before I met Attila. I do not miss those years; I do not regret those years. My experiences with these men have provided me with pleasant memories and a lot of insight into myself.

Do they remember me? I doubt that very much, both consumed women like candy. If the consumption of women provided calories they would be obese and waddling. Of course I didn't realize that at the time. We burned with an intense passion and sexuality; short explosions in the air leaving only ashes fallen to the earth. I think that only I have gathered the ashes to spread in my garden.

The man with whom I did not consummate desire remains fondly in my memory. Our conversation was interesting and funny; an odd mutual respect existed, in that conversation was all that we would share. This was more a meeting of the minds, although it must be said that, but for physical attraction, those minds might never have met. I remember the meaningful and amused look we shared as a woman, obviously interested in the physical, swept him away. Our paths have not crossed again.

A few years ago Attila and I went to a late nightclub where the former lover was playing. The two women sitting with him were very young; his interest did not seem fatherly. He walked by our table looking past me without recognition. He was enjoying the euphoria some men feel when they have gained the interest of young and idealistic girls. I wonder what those girls will remember of it all years from now; when he is in an old folk's home, and another man's babies and responsibilities surround them. Perhaps they will send flowers.

I am reading a book on html authoring. I like this book because it presents the material in a way that I can understand. It also provides a good reference in that the material is well organized, illustrated and the index uses terms that might occur to me if I needed help. The book is "Web Design in a Nutshell" by Jennifer Niedherst, published by O'Reilly.

Mentioning this book leads me to describe the quest that occupied my morning yesterday. I decided that I would venture forth to purchase a birthday card for someone special. Since I like the book on web design so well, I thought that I would combine interests and visit the local Chapters bookstore, looking for card and book. They did stock a few cards, lovely cards, but nothing that suited. Disappointed, I headed for the computer book section. They have thousands of computer-related books, but not the one I was looking for. Not to be discouraged, I decided to look for another book that has been recommended to me, Blatner's Scanning and Halftones. This book was absent from their shelves as well. It seemed quite odd to me that the only two computer books in the world that I would consider purchasing could not be found among the thousands.

Not to give up so easily, I drove to a nearby mall. This was a mistake. I hate malls and this visit served to remind me why I hate malls. There was a card shop there. The cards were very commercial and none suited the occasion. A bookstore, I thought, a bookstore might offer a more specialized selection. Where to find a bookstore? Usually in malls, near the entrances, they have maps. Not in this mall! I wandered around for ten minutes before I found an information booth with a map attached. The woman in the booth was talking to a friend about how much she liked her job. She completely ignored me, requiring me to interrupt in order to ask a question. It is not hard to understand what it is she likes about her job.

The map indicated that there was a bookstore in the mall. I carefully memorized the path through the maze to find it and set off. Quite a while later I discovered that I was wandering in circles, having passed the same electronics store for the third time. I gave up! I finally found an exit and escaped to the parking lot which, being bounded by recognizable streets, is fairly easy to navigate.

Today I am contemplating another quest; I still need that card. I'll buy the books over the internet.