Now is a Moment 
By Maggie Turner  

Wednesday, April12, 2000

Now is a Moment

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It is still cold and I am still dormant. I feel like I am existing in a "white-out". In case you are reading this from a southern clime, a "white-out" is a situation where the snowfall is so dense that one can not see two paces in front of oneself. One may feel safe in a cocoon, isolated and alone, or frightened if operating a motor vehicle on a highway. Context is very important here. I am lucky enough to be tucked inside our small but comfortable little house, able to view the cold blue sky and bare tree branches from relative safety.

Although it is cold and uninviting outside, Attila is beginning his busy season. He worked last Saturday. Sunday was his last day off work for quite a while. He will work almost all weekends from now until mid-November. We wait patiently throughout the warm seasons for the cold and snow to come, so that we can spend time together once more. Attila has come to love the winter and dread the spring when he must adjust to a busy schedule. I will miss him, although I have managed to maintain a sense of pleasant anticipation of the warm weather.

I have been keeping many things to myself of late. I have not been writing about them or talking about them to anyone. I suppose that is why my journal entries have been sporadic. You see they are of a passing nature and I would like to forget them when they do. If I tell you, or anyone, about them then you might remember. I would not like that. I have found that sometimes talking about things does not help.

Some unpleasant truths in life are irrefutable; they must be endured. Giving them a name gives them a place on the shelf. I will endure, but my shelves will display only the truths I have gathered through love and loyalty. Those forced upon me by way of malice and might will be endured and discarded at first opportunity to the rubbish heap where they belong.

The sun is shining through the blinds, patterning the plants on the table under the window. Chopin plays softly from the other room. Now is a moment that I am enjoying very much.