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We heard the distant drums of change. They disarrange the rhythm of the heart, the pulsing of the blood. Tension builds. Small and previously insignificant daily events seem laden with meaning and emotion. One can only wait. Waiting, however, in no way prepares one for the thunderous pulse of actual change. The engulfing, deafening vibrations draw near and engulf reality, altering perceptions permanently. A half a century of solid, unmoving structures can suddenly dissolve to nothing. So it has been in my life. To hold a life completely within your body and subsequently within your daily life is an experience that nature and our culture has relegated almost exclusively to females. The former is largely beyond our control; the latter is completely within our cultural control. To bear daily witness to the incredible vulnerability of human life is a humbling experience. To protect that vulnerability above ones own needs and desires is a daunting task. If we are very lucky, that task leads to separation and the loss of dependency. If we are very lucky, that loss of dependency is the beginning of something new. Terra has left home. I suffer separation and loss. I wait and hope to watch the beginning of something new, a something that will bring growth and satisfaction to Terra. She has begun to live her own story. I have begun to place my own needs and desires in the center of my life. This is a new experience for me. "What will you do?" Luna asked me in a nurturing tone. "First," I replied, "I will move my deodorant from its hiding place in my underwear drawer to the bathroom counter. Leave it to me to fixate on my armpits at a time like this!" Luna laughed. I laughed. The deodorant now sits in the bathroom and I find it in that very same spot each and every time I want to use it. I experience joy. It is a small miracle. One has to begin somewhere. Who was it that said, "Rome was not built in a day." |
RECIPES :: Cast Worldly Distractions  Moving Day By the Easy Chair Icy Sparks by Gwyn Hyman Rubig Airwaves Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain by Willie Nelson Weather 7:22 AM DST Temp: 16` C Humidity: 100% Wind: SE 0 km/h Barometric:101.4 kPa Sunrise 6:43 AM DST Sunset 8:09 PM DST |
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