Well, today could have gone better. It did not. It is over. I survived. I enjoyed my dinner and since I slept like a baby last night, I hope to do it again tonight. Yes, it isn’t pretty at work, but what is truly surprising to me is that, I just don’t care. I get upset in the moment, at work, and have been able to leave it all there when I come home.
I’ve been here before. When I knew I was going to have a painful session with the dentist, big needles, big pain, lots of fear, I found a way to cope. The time I spent at the dentist’s office became the known nightmare, a fixed point of pain in time and space. Until I had to be in it I could forget about it, when I was in it I could hate it with all my being, then when it was over I could forget about it. Work, it seems, has become a known nightmare in my life, like needles in my mouth at the dentist’s office. Numb is working for me, perhaps the word is stupefied, a rose by any other name.
Winter is not giving up, freezing rain yesterday, snow overnight, snow expected tonight, cold nights for another week. The sun keeps coming out, the snow keeps melting. Spring is waiting patiently just offstage for her cue.
A VISA bill arrived in the mail. $3.04. Warms the cockles of my heart that does. This must be the good old days!
I’ve been listening to music composed and performed by a friend of an old friend. I’ve not met her, but have enjoyed her music for decades. Jane Siberry has put her music online, you can download very high quality mp3s from her website.
Worldly Distractions
Weather
0 °C
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.9 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: 0.0°C
Dewpoint: -9.8°C
Humidity: 48 %
Wind: N 9 km/h
Wind Chill: -3
Quote
“Anyone who isn’t confused really doesn’t understand the situation.”
Edward R. Murrow
1908 – 1965
Notes
Cockles of My Heart
“The common English phrase ‘it warms the cockles of my heart’, is used to signify that a feeling of deep-seated contentment is triggered.”
I’ve seen J.S. in concert twice and she was mesmerizing both times; such a beautiful voice (the backup vocalists too) and lovely very human presence. Emil and I met her after the second concert and she was sweet to him. I had to laugh. She had her hair in a fancy do with braids and loops and she asked him “Do you like my hair?” He answered “Yes” quickly and matter-of-factly and then after we left the hall, we got into our vehicle and he said “Mom, what kind of hair was that?” Also matter-of-factly. I think he neither liked nor disliked it, but it stumped him a little.
Great story Kate, she is one of a kind.